Talkin’ Music with Jack – Wrong Lyrics, It Blows My Mind

By Jack Coll

10-2-13

     I was in our wood working shop a few nights back cutting and gluing a number of frames when one of my all-time favorite songs comes on, “Young Americans” sung by David Bowie.  The song starts with this great 12 string guitar riff, then these Rockin’ horns, and Bowie’s voice kicks in, “We pulled in just behind the bridge she lays me down, she found, whew my life’s a funny thing, am I still too young.”  So I rock on through the song and we get near the end of the song when Bowie stops, and goes into this soulful voice saying, “makes me break down and cry, All Right,” Drums, and then “He was a young American, (background, ”Young Americans, Young Americans,) Bowie goes wild,

“You ain’t a pimp and you ain’t a hustler

 A pimps got a cadi and a lady got a Chrysler

Blacks got respect and

Whites got his soul train

Mamas got cramps and look at her hands ache

(back-up singers say) “I heard the news today, oh boy”

I got a suite and you got defeat

Ain’t there a man you can say no more?

And ain’t there a woman I can sock on the jaw?

And ain’t there a child I can hold without judging

Ain’t there a pen that will write before they die

Ain’t you proud that you’ve still got faces?

Ain’t there one damn song that can make me

(dem background ladies say) Break down and Cry

All night

I want the young American

So while I’m singing along to the ending, I know most of the words, but I realized I didn’t quite know all the words.  Bowie recorded the “Young Americans” album and song right here in Philadelphia at Sigma Sound Studio back in 1974.  Sigma Sound Studios are located at 212 N. 12^th Street in Philly and a lot of famous music alum have checked into this studio and came out with classics.

So I checked the lyrics and much to my surprise, I was having trouble with the lyrics at the end of the song, but for 38 years I was screwing up the very first line of the song.  I always sang “She pulled in just behind the bridge she laid me down.”  Turns out what Bowie was singing was “She pulled in just behind the fridge she laid me down.”  Who in the hell pulls in from behind the fridge, is he talking about a refrigerator, a freezer or what?

So this up-setting moment leads me to wondering how many other lyrics have I been screwing up over the years?  I think we all know and laugh about Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising,” as in there’s a bathroom on the right.  Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer,” all together now, ‘hold me closer Tony Danza.”  And is Jimi Hendrix singing “Scuse me, while I kiss the sky,” or “Scuse me, while I kiss this guy,” in Purple Haze.  I think we’re all pretty familiar with these botched lyrics, but let’s try a few others.

The Beatles gave us a gem with “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds,” “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes,” or “The girl with colitis goes by.”  One of my favorites when it comes to misheard lyrics comes from the Rolling Stones Beast or Burden, “I’ll never be your Beast of Burden,” or the lyric I enjoy singing, “I’ll never leave your pizza burning.”

Jersey guy Jon Bon Jovi sings “Livin’ On A Prayer,” all together now “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not,” is what it’s supposed to sound like, but there’s a lot of guys out there who like to raise their voice and sing “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not.”  Here’s to all you Maroon 5 fans singing “This Love.”  The lyric is “She said goodbye to many times before,” and what has been heard singing, “She said goodbye to Mary Tyler Moore.”

When Madonna is not singing in the church choir she’s singing songs like, “Like A Virgin.” Madonna sings “Like a virgin, touched for the very first time,” and what we like singing, “Like a virgin, touched for the thirty first time.”  I’m not sure if we have a lot of “Clash” fans out there but certainly you sing along to “Rock The Casbah, Rock The Casbah,” or have you been singing “Rock The Cat Box, Rock the Cat Box.”

I’m not sure where this one comes from, I know I never screwed it up, the Bobby Fuller Four sang “I Fought The Law,” but apparently some people have been singing for a lot of years, “I Bought Some Slaw,” I’m not sure about that one.  As a kid I was a big fan of the Herman Hermits, they had a great string of hits back in the 1960’s including “She’s A Must To Avoid,” apparently a lot of people had the Kinks song “Lola” on their mind when they sang “She’s A Muscular Boy.”  This one cracked me up, Bonnie Tyler, with that hard scratchy voice that sounded a lot like Rod Stewart, “It’s A Heartache,” nothing sounds worse than someone riding in the car with you singing, “It’s A Hard Steak,” I know, it’s pretty lame.

This one I could buy into, Johnny Nash, (saw him at the Valley Fore Music Fair some years ago), Johnny sang “I can see clearly now the rain is gone.”  However a lot of people sang “I can see clearly now Lorraine is gone.”  This is an odd one that may have confused some people, Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones wrote a song called “Tumbling Dice,” that Linda Ronstadt recorded some years later.  (Ronstadt recently reviled she has Parkinson’s disease)  Richards wrote and the Rolling Stones sing “Women think I’m tasty.”  Ronstadt sings “people try to rape me,” just odd.

I really like the band REM, they sing a number of cool songs including “Losing My Religion.”  From that song comes the lyric “That’s me in corner, that’s me in the spotlight.”  If you listen to the song it really sounds like “Let’s pee in the corner, let’s pee in the spotlight.”  At one time the Bee Gees were kings of the music world with a string of hits in the 1960’s, 1970’s, and 1980’s.  One of their hits was “More Than A Woman,” a hit coming from the movie “Saturday Night Fever.”  The lyric goes like this, “you’re more than a woman, more than a woman to me.”  Apparently what a lot of people heard was “your man’s a woman, your man’s a woman to me.”

OK, I don’t like it when people mess with Bob Dylan, Dylan is by far the greatest song writer of all time, I hear people scream all the time that Dylan has lost it, he can no longer sing, you can’t understand him.  I’ll let you in on a little secret, he never could sing.  The very first album I ever bought was a Bob Dylan album with the song “I Want You,” on it, and I think I have purchased every album since.  I’ve seen Dylan in concert many times, so I know a little bit about Bob Dylan, and I take exception when people talk in a negative tone about Dylan.

But I have to admit this one is pretty funny, in Dylan’s ground breaking song, “Blowin’ In The Wind,” Dylan belts out “The answer my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.”  What many people heard, and have sang ever since is “The ants are my friends, there’re blowing in the wind.”  Alright, that’s pretty funny.

This column could go on for a couple of days, I mean, the Eagles with “Bikes in the Fast Lane,” or is that “Life in the Fast Lane.”  Smoky Robinson with his smooth voice sang “I Second That Emotion.”  A lot of broken hearted lovers sang “I Suck At That Emotion.”

Going back to Bowie before we leave you I always thought it was pretty cool that Bowie’s line in “Young Americans” where they say, “I heard the news today, oh boy”, was in reference to the Beatles song “A Day In The Life,” John Lennon would later work with Bowie on the “Fame” album.  Other interesting notes about the ”Young Americans” album,  Bowie always recorded after midnight because he heard Frank Sinatra always recorded after midnight, a young David Sanborn pumped out the saxophone on the album and if you listen closely you can hear Luther Vandross singing back-up.

Well, like it or not, I’m sticking with my lyric, “They pulled in just behind the bridge”, As far as I’m concerned nobody ever “pulled in just behind the Fridge”.

Do you have a screwed up lyric that you would like to share, lets her from you!

 This Week’s Trivia

I mentioned the Beatles song “Lucy In The Sky, with Diamonds,” well in 1967 a fellow named John Fred and his Playboy Band did a parody to the Beatles song, can you name it?  John’s full name is John Fred Gourrier from Baton Rouge Louisiana.  John was a pretty good athlete having played baseball and basketball at LSU and Southeastern Louisiana University.  His father Fred Gourrier was also a pretty good athlete having played baseball for the Detroit Tigers.

Can you name John’s number one song from 1967?

Answer next week!

Remember, no looking it up.

Answer to last week’s trivia question:

#1     A few of the hits for Blood Sweat and Tears included “You’ve Made Me So Very Happy,” “Spinning Wheel,” “And When I Die,” “Hi-De Ho,” “Lucretia Mac Evil,” and “Go Down Gamblin’.”

#2     Frank Sinatra had three number one hits on the pop charts, “Learnin’ The Blues” in 1955, “Strangers In The Night,” in 1966, and “Something Stupid,” a duet with his daughter Nancy in 1967.

#3     Norristown had four popular movie houses over the years including the Norris Theatre, The WestMar, The Grand, and the Garrick Theatre.