Tales of the Town continued… Part 5

Tales of the Town -5

Tales of the Town Continued

By Jack Coll

     For those of you who have been following Tales of the Town, thank you, and you already know what Tales of the Town is all about, but for the new-comers, let me explain.  While researching some needed information for our up-coming book, (“Conshohocken in Pictures and Short Stories”) I was scanning some micro-film from the Conshohocken Recorder newspapers from 1899-1901.

In many of the issues I came across a number of very short tales titled “Tales of the Town,” often with a by-line, “As Told by our Oldest Residents,” or sometimes the by-line was “From 50 Years Ago.”

I, along with a number of our readers have tried to determine if the stories were true, as told by an older resident, or something some editor made up just to fill space in the newspaper?

Sometimes the short tale mentions names of residents and locations, sometimes they just seem to be evasive, not going into detail.  Either way, enjoy the tales and see what you think.

Tales Of The Town

January 25, 1901

     When old Joe Nolan had his saloon out near Harmonville there used to be a quantity of practical jokes always on tap.  One day Jerry Casey who was famous here years ago as a fun maker, went into Nolan’s with a demijohn and putting it down on the floor among another row of demijohn asked Joe if he wanted to buy a demijohn of whisky.  The latter replied that he didn’t and ordered Casey to take it out again.  (Editor’s Note: a demijohn is a narrow-necked jug often enclosed in wickerwork. Before some smart-ass ask, yes I had to look it up)

     So after a long parley, Jerry got a drink “till Saturday night” picked up the demijohn and went out.  About a month after this incident, Nolan had occasion to pick up his last demijohn to bring behind the bar.  Imagine his amazement to find that it was filled with water.  He thought a few moments and then the truth dawned.

            The night that Casey came in he brought a demijohn of water and laid it among mine that were filled with whiskey, then when he went out he picked up one of mine and left his here.  So thought Nolan, and he was right.  When Casey called again, Nolan reached for a beer mallet and Casey reached for the door.

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Tales Of The Town

January 18, 1901

     About fifty years ago, there used to be some lively times in the town on Sunday afternoons.  After getting in a good supply of stimulants, or at least getting a good supply of stimulants in themselves, some of the boys went over to the old stone mill now occupied by Henderson Supplee and rested.  Others stretched themselves along the banks of the canal and run down the world in general.

The crowd along the canal would end the day invariably with a free fight usually started by some trivial cause.  When the boys over in the mill saw that the fellows along the canal had exhausted themselves fighting they would cross over and take a hand amusing themselves by making regular punching bags out of the helpless drunken crowd.

There was but one constable then and it would be impossible for him to stop this practice even if he tried.  At the approach of darkness the fighters usually went home and retired at once so as to be in good condition for work on Monday morning.

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January 29, 1901

     There used to be a great deal of rivalry between Phoenixville and Conshohocken.  Residents of this place would do most anything to get the best of those in Phoenix.  One night a big crowd went up there in a bus with Old Bill Wilson who was to be the principal actor in a much heralded show.

     The manager of this enterprise instructed Wilson to appear before the audience when the curtain rose and say, “Now you see me and now you don’t.”  Then to run to the rear of the stage go down a ladder and get into the bus again.  A fair sized house waited expectantly.  Finally the curtain rose.  Wilson appeared and shouted “Now you see me and now yer don’t.”  Then he dashed to the rear of the stage, “Alas!”  Someone had stolen the ladder.  The indignant audience climbed upon the stage and pummeled Wilson until he hardly knew who he was.  He reached the railroad station next morning and arrived in Conshohocken a sadder but wiser man.

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January 29, 1901

     Many of our oldest residents remember old Dan Perry, the traveling shoemaker who used to live on the West Side.  This industrious cobbler used to mend shoes for a whole family at a time and received his meals and lodging until the job was done.  In some cases he would subtract the cost of his board from the bill but in many instances the customers never deducted it.

     Aside from being a good workman, Dan was also a clever singer and amused the household with comic ditties while he pegged away.  The old man was extremely fond of children and always carried a satchel full of candy which he used to distribute among the little folks.  In 1870, he married a Philadelphia woman and it is said they both went West to engage in business.  Dan was never heard of since

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January 29, 1901

     When the gypsies first came to Spring Mill they used to reap a regular harvests.  Superstitious youths and youthesses  were separated from their hard earned coin and told that they would live in majestic mansions which overlooked wide spread lawns, ect., ect., and all that kind of “stuff,” that one reads in the ten cent yellow back novel.

     Very, very seldom would one of these scheming prevaricators tell a customer that they’d have had luck.  They also sold lucky charms, roots and many other ridiculous articles for which they received good Conshohocken silver.   During the past few years however, their business in the predicting line has fallen off and the lazy wanders have to earn a living by selling ornaments, trading horses and other legitimate means.

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And there my friends you have another week of “Tales of the Town,” fact or fiction, I don’t know, what do you think?  If you’d like to read the past adventures of “Tales of the Town” feel free to go back into the site, and along with other articles written by me you’ll find at least four other versions of “Tales of the Town.”

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See ya in a week or so