Hey Bob, Can I talk to you for a second By Jack Coll

Hey Bob

Can I Talk To You For A Second?

By Jack Coll

1-5-15

Sometimes We Make Decisions

And Sometimes We Have To Live With That Decision

Bob O’Neill was as good a soul as you’ll ever find in Conshohocken, we’ve had a lot of good souls over the years, this town has been blessed with them, hundreds, maybe thousands, and Bob O’Neill is at the top of that good souls list, I mean at the top.

I can’t remember where or even when I met Bob, it could have been through Conshohocken Little League, I coached his son David back in 1980, I think it was the Angels team, it could have been then.  Maybe it was at Conshohocken Elementary School, our kids went there, my kids Brian and Jackie, and Bob and Peggy’s kids Vince, David Philip and Joanie, Joanie goes by Joan these days, you know how it is, ya grow up and lose the “ie,” maybe it’s a west coast thing or something. But the point is our kids, and our lives crossed paths throughout the early years in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, as I get older the years all bunch together but I think Jackie and Joanie danced together for a number of years.

Bob was a photographer, and a good photographer at that.  He would show me his pictures and explain why he took each and every photograph, it was a learning experience for me.  Bob had a good eye in the lens, things he pointed out in his photographs sometimes amazed me, things I would have never thought of, but it was all very natural to him.

I met Peggy through RSVP of Montgomery County or some other organization where we might have crossed paths but I think it’s safe to say that we all met some 30 to 35 years ago.  Bob always seemed interested in the higher education thing like participating as a member of the Colonial School Board, The Colonial Foundation, Friends of the Conshohocken Library and things like that.

Bob also found time to participate in sports, he was a big soccer fan, he coached and played.  I remember years ago being assigned to cover a soccer league that played indoors at Montgomery County Community College, sure enough Bob was hustling up and down the field.  I think he also dabbled in the soap box derby for a short time with a couple of the boys.

But what I admired about Bob when it came to sports was his coaching tactics, he coached for a number of years with Mike Borzelleca in the Conshohocken Little League, and he coached long after his children were gone from the league.  Typically he would show up for the game right from work and head for the dugout.  Coaching a talented kid or a gifted ball player was always the easy part for any coach, I know I coached enough talented kids over the years.  But Bob had this ability to seek out the average, and not so average ball players.  He could watch and study them, spend a little time with them, help them correct their mistakes or show them a way that would result in a more positive outcome.  Bob coached quietly, out of the way, in a positive and productive manner that no-one really noticed, but I did, I was a student of Little League and coaching and my eyes were always wide open for a better way of instructing kids on the ball field, and I found it in Bob O’Neill.

Bob wasn’t a screamer, he never felt the need to show parents he was a coach, or was coaching a game.  The biggest laugh on a coach is watching a youngster miss a ground ball that goes through his or her legs, their coaching intuition kicks in and they yell out, “Hey, you gotta catch that ball.”  I always thought “you told him coach,” the kid knows that, their parents know that, everyone who’s ever thought about playing the game knows that.

Bob handled things a little differently, a ball would go through a kid’s legs and Bob wouldn’t say anything, he’d wait for the inning to end, let the child get into the dugout, and with nobody watching, no fanfare, Bob would slide into the dugout and say to the player, “I watched you, and you lifted your eyes to check the runner, checking on the runner isn’t necessary because you still gotta field the ball, and make a solid throw to first base, next time you’ll get it, you’ll remember this.” And Bob would walk out of the dugout as though he never talked to anyone, that was Bob’s way.

Bob never missed an opportunity to help out and or contribute in some way to our community, our community means Conshohocken, Plymouth, Whitemarsh and anyone else that wanted to cash in on his services.  If the Conshohocken Library needed something, or anything that he could handle, he volunteered, he was very strong about the Friends of the Library, Bob believed the library was a very strong foundation in this community and was very committed to the “Friends.”

Bob was a valuable volunteer to the Mayors Special Events Committee.  If you’re not familiar with this committee you should be, Conshohocken Mayor Robert Frost for many years has been behind events such as the annual fireworks, the Conshohocken Classic Car Show held every June, the Halloween Parade that has thrilled our children for years and the committee’s participation along with the Conshohocken Ambucs in the annual Christmas Tree lighting event and the arrival of Santa Clause.  Mayor Frost number one man was Bob O’Neill, especially for the biggest event, the car show.

Bob O’Neill would show up at the Mayor’s committee meeting prepared to go to work, new ideas, new programs were always on his agenda.  On the day of the car show, usually a hot day, Bob was a work horse, always the first one to show up at six o’clock a.m.  Golf Cart, loaded with ice, water for the volunteers, picking up the trophies, the after car-show refreshments, and go non-stop through the day, setting up and breaking down, make no doubt about it, he was the backbone of the show, we’ll need a couple of meetings to discuss how we’ll replace him at the different events.

It came as no surprise to me, Bob was a runner, a long distance runner. He often talked about running in Disney World, and Disneyland I’d typically lose my breath just listening to him tell me about the races, I would often encourage him to bet on the fact that I could beat him in a race to the refrigerator, I’d get a little laugh out of him.  Bob smiled all the time but didn’t seem to laugh a lot, getting a little laugh from Bob was a victory for me.

When the Colonial School Board made the decision to close Conshohocken Elementary School twenty five years ago or so Bob played a role in helping to keep the school open, I said it before and I’ll say it again, they weren’t thinking about closing the school, the vote was taken to close the school and Bob was one of a handful of parents who went to war against the school board and won. I always felt that any parent who has had a child enrolled at Conshohocken Elementary over the past twenty five years, or who will ever enroll their children going forward, they can thank Bob O’Neill who played a role in keeping that school open.

I mentioned at the top of this column that sometimes we make decisions, and sometimes we’re forced to live with a bad decision, I’m living with a bad decision that pertains to Bob.

Just a day or so before Bob passed away I had the opportunity to visit with him, knowing he might not have much more time with us.  We spent our time talking, soft stuff, it’s a funny thing when you’re talking to someone who might not have much time, (at that time I wasn’t sure if he had weeks or months) but I didn’t want to talk about the past as if to say hey, we had some good times, too bad it’s over, and I didn’t want to talk about the future as if to say too bad you might be missing this, and I certainly didn’t want to thank him for all his help over the years because I felt that would be a sure sign that I knew something that he didn’t, and I didn’t want to walk out of the room leaving Bob with that impression of me.

So we sat and talked soft stuff, Bob was alert and very peaceful, he seemed tired and I didn’t want to keep him from resting, so for a moment, a brief moment I thought should I thank him for all his help and all his years to the community.  I got up and shook his hand and said, “hey Bob, good talking to you, it’s good to see that you’re doing real good, we’ll be in touch, I’ll be back to see you this week, get some rest” and out the door I went, I’ll never forget my final words to him.

The thing is, as my visit was coming to an end, I actually thought about it, and that is where the lifetime regret comes in.

I should have said “Hey Bob, I want to take a minute and thank you for everything you’ve ever done in this community for this community.   Your efforts contributed greatly to the success of the Mayor’s Special Events Committee, your concern for our children helped keep a school open in Conshohocken. And hey Bob, thanks for all your time with our library, our library, meaning every resident living in this borough still has a library to go to because of people like you.  Ya know what Bob, you didn’t have to spend all those years coaching little league, your kids were out of the league, but the kids that came behind them, and had you as a coach, well they want to thank you, you weren’t just any other coach, you were a great coach, and ya know Bob, you did all this as a model citizen, you never cursed to get your point across, you never raised your voice, and with all the crap we all go through life with, you never hated, you never once hated and I admit that sometimes it would tick me off that something would happen to you or your family and you always had a way to spin it into something positive and not get mad and not hate.”  That’s what I should have said.  And when I was done saying all that I should have leaned down and whispered in your ear, “I love you for everything you have ever done to benefit this town making it a better place to live for me and my children.”

Had I handled it right that’s what I would have said to you on my way out of the room, and now I have to live with the fact that I missed that opportunity.

There will come a day in the not so distant future, with all the worlds technology, that a long distance telephone line will be connected to heaven.  There’s a lot of calls I’ll want to make but the first call from me going through the St. Peter’s switchboard will be to Bob O’Neill, and I’ll apologize to him for not saying this earlier but I’ll tell him all the things I’ll failed to tell him sitting in his bedroom.  I got twenty bucks that Bob will smile and say, “Hey, don’t worry about it,” but I do worry about it.

When I lose a good friend I generally get selfish about it, it was a lousy way to end the year, it’s a lousy way to start the year, and now Conshohocken has one less good volunteer, one less role model, but the worst part of it is his family is also starting a new life, a life without their father, husband, brother and son.

Now his family starts a life missing him every day when they wake up, Conshohocken misses him, his friends and fellow athletes miss him, and I’ll miss him, Bob O’Neill was a friend of mine.

Bob O’Neill passed away on December 30, 2014.

He was a Vietnam Veteran

God Bless him and his family